“But
Sarah, who has the kids?”
I
don’t know how many times I have heard this question over the past two and a
half months. Who has the kids? Well, that guy that God created to be my help
meet (and I, his), he’s got them. My kids have another parent. They do not have
to be under my watchful eye every second of every day. In fact, Dave spends
more time with our kids than I do. He is the stay at home parent that we both
longed for our kids to have. I stayed at home for a time, while he worked (and
hated it, I might add), and now he stays home with the boys while I work. He
also does most of the cooking and cleaning. I am sooooooo not complaining! I
have it good.
So
yeah, when I’m working out, Dave is with the boys. He’s not babysitting them
(because really, can you babysit your own kids?). He’s raising them. He is
taking an active role in raising them. Granted, in the morning they are mostly
asleep. We get up super early to make this work. In a previous post, I talked
about how I get up between 5:00 am and 5:30 am. Dave wakes up between 4:30 am
and 5:00 am to get his workout in and be back in time so that I can leave and
get my full workout in. I had no desire to wake up that early when we started
this whole thing, but now I kind of dig it. The boys wake up sometime between
7:00 am and 8:00 am. Sometimes Dave is done working out, sometimes not. We
trust Silas to be up with a video playing so that Dave can get in the shower.
We leave Hurricane Elijah in the crib until Dave is done with his shower.
In
the evening, I just don’t come home until I’m done. I usually walk in the door
around 6:30 pm and then I take over most all child duties. Sometimes Dave plays
a video game after dinner or sometimes he just hangs out and reads. Most often,
though, he’s right there with us in the living room wrestling around in the
floor, volunteering to change another poopy diaper, and just being awesome.
I
couldn’t do this without him. I have a twinge of feminist in me, but that is
sooooo not the reason why our roles are reversed (according to societal norms).
This works for us. He works for me. I work for him. And this whole system that
we have going on, it works for our family. Dave loves me and our family enough
to give of himself freely. He gives his time, his love, his patience, his
shoulders, his everything to make this work. To make our marriage work. To make
our family work. It may not look normal, or right, but it is. For us.
So
who has the kids? Their amazing dad has the kids! I don’t know how to answer
the question, ‘how do you manage the kids when you are working out?’ Because I have
never had to. Other than we decided that the best way for us to get a good, efficient
workout in was to do it early in the morning while they were still asleep.
I
am not attacking the way other families parent their children. I have no idea
what goes on behind closed doors in others’ houses. Dads in those houses may be
doing everything that they can to make their family life work. If you make a
decision to start a healthier life, then Dad needs to be in on that decision
too. He needs to help you figure out how to make, work towards, and achieve
your goals. Tell him how you feel about it and I’m sure that he will step up to
the plate. He will help you figure out how to make it work. Together, your marriage
is your best line of defense. I mean really, what husband is going to say ‘no’
when you ask him for one hour a day when the end result is a smokin’ hot wife?
I
also still stand behind this saying and think that it is truth: If it is
important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
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